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Hailey Bieber wants people to know “marriage is very hard.”
“That is the sentence you should lead with,” she suggests in a new Vogue article that provides an intimate look into their young union. “It’s really effing hard.”
The model and TV personality and her husband, Justin Bieber, cover the magazine’s March issue, as revealed Thursday. The duo, who wed in September after a whirlwind romance, reignited their love affair in June. They had a brief relationship three years ago, which had a sour ending.
“Fizzled would not be the right word – it was more like a very dramatic excommunication,” Hailey, 22, said. “There was a period where if I walked into a room, he would walk out.”
Last June, they crossed paths in Miami at a conference held by Pastor Rich Wilkerson Jr.
“The common denominator, I promise you, is always church,” Hailey said. “By then we were past the drama. I just gave him a hug.”
She adds that towards the conference’s end, her soon-to-be husband, foreshadowing their future, told her: “We’re not going to be friends.”
“When I saw her last June, I just forgot how much I loved her and how much I missed her and how much of a positive impact she made on my life,” Justin, 24, said. “I was like, ‘Holy cow, this is what I’ve been looking for.'”
Diving into their issues, Hailey explains it’s a “struggle to be in touch with my emotions. (Justin) gets there immediately.”
“We don’t want to say the wrong thing, and so we’ve been struggling with not expressing our emotions, which has been driving me absolutely crazy because I just need to express myself,” Justin shared, “and it’s been really difficult to get her to say what she feels.”
Justin admits his time in the spotlight has made it difficult to trust people, including his wife.
“I’ve struggled with the feeling that people are using me or aren’t really there for me, and that writers are looking to get something out of me and then use it against me,” he said. One of the big things for me is trusting myself. I’ve made some bad decisions personally, and in relationships. Those mistakes have affected my confidence in my judgment. It’s been difficult for me even to trust Hailey. (Turning to Hailey) We’ve been working through stuff. And it’s great, right?”
Justin also opened up to the publication about a darker time in his life, and getting “really depressed” on the tour for his album “Purpose” in 2017. “I haven’t talked about this, and I’m still processing so much stuff that I haven’t talked about,” he shared. “I was lonely. I needed some time.”
Justin recalled what it was like to be idolized and obsessed over at 16.
“I started really feeling myself too much,” he said. “People love me, I’m the (expletive) – that’s honestly what I thought. I got very arrogant and cocky. I was wearing sunglasses inside.”
He also recalled a time when he was relying on Xanax to distance himself from his reality.
“I found myself doing things that I was so ashamed of, being super-promiscuous and stuff, and I think I used Xanax because I was so ashamed,” he shared. “My mom always said to treat women with respect. For me that was always in my head while I was doing it, so I could never enjoy it. Drugs put a screen between me and what I was doing.
“It got pretty dark,” he added. “I think there were times when my security was coming in late at night to check my pulse and see if I was still breathing.”
Today, Justin is happier with a wife who speaks candidly about the difficulties of marriage but is determined not to throw in the towel.
“I’m not going to sit here and lie and say it’s all a magical fantasy. It’s always going to be hard. It’s a choice,” she said. “You don’t feel it every single day. You don’t wake up every day saying, ‘I’m absolutely so in love and you are perfect.’ That’s not what being married is. But there’s something beautiful about it anyway—about wanting to fight for something, commit to building with someone.
“We’re really young, and that’s a scary aspect,” she continued. “We’re going to change a lot. But we’re committed to growing together and supporting each other in those changes. That’s how I look at it. At the end of the day, too, he’s my best friend. I never get sick of him.”
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